Monday, January 30, 2012

Getting Attached

On Wednesday, I'm going to talk a little about a huge concept in the psychological literature: attachment. It's a construct that encompasses the bond between caregiver and child. But there's another, related body of research, one that explores the nature of adult romantic relationships. That's the one I'm going to focus on this week.

But first! Let's get you guys thinking about this stuff. Two ways to do this: the quick and dirty, or the more in-depth.

If you want more in-depth, go here and take the quiz (I did it, and it took me about 5 minutes to do it and read the results).

If you're short on time, just read the paragraphs below and think about which one fits you (or, since most of you are writers, you can think about a character of yours):
  1. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.
  2. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.
  3. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.*
And that's it! More on Wednesday. But if you're craving more brain food for today, go check out Lydia's Medical Monday post, and Laura's Mental Health Monday post!
*These questions come from Hazan & Shaver, 1987

20 comments:

  1. I think it depends on the context (for me). For example, I'm pretty open with my feelings, and willing to share just about anything with anyone. I don't hold on to shame or regret, and I find life easier to live with nothing to hide. When it comes to other things, things that are more concrete, I basically trust almost no one. Not even myself. I'm very careful about things like money, or business, or contracts, and even sharing something I've created takes a leap of faith.

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  2. I'm thinking about my MC, but it's probably a bit of me, too. So I'll go with #1. I also think it depends on where a person is in their life and what experiences they have had. As life moves forward, this could change. Am I right?

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  3. Can I be in between two???? I'm with Matt. It depends on the context for me. I'm more like #1 for some people and situations than others. Otherwise I'm #2.

    Love this idea for characterizations!!!!

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  4. Care to take a guess at my answer? ;-)

    I can't wait until Wednesday!!!!!!!!!

    ~JD

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  5. Fun stuff! I had to jump over and take the quiz. You know I love the online quizzes! I scored pretty good. 1.9 "secure." So I guess it IS this writing career getting me down... LOL! Just kidding.

    Thanks, Sarah~ :o) <3

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  6. that quiz did not like me. :(
    just kidding (sort of)!
    did make me think, "my poor husband!" :P
    interesting to see what you have to say wednesday!

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  7. Oh, I'm so number one it isn't funny. But, hmmm, I think my character is more like number two, and of course it gets her into trouble. :)

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  8. I'm number one, hands down. I especially get uncomfortable when strange men get too close, even the really nice men who I've known for a little while.

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  9. Are you forcing us to face the issue? ;) I'm off to go take this quizlet. See you Wednesday.

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  10. Ooh it sounds like this is going to be juicy! :D

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  11. Oh cool. I love tests like these :) I'm low-anxiety (2.46) and mid-to-low-avoidance (3.57). I can't wait for the rest of you posts this week!!

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  12. I'm definitely a #2. I used to think I was unsocial but now I realize I was shy. Well, not so much anymore!

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  13. The test was fun, but as I've been happily married for 32 years I wasn't surprised that it came out "secure." I guess I should be happy it revealed what I feel. Anything else would have been an unpleasant surprise!

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  14. I'm a number two, but with a slight tendency toward number three, in that I trust too easily, perhaps naively, and wear my heart on my sleeve. Too open and vulnerable.

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  15. I think I'm a 2 generally, but I think I also come across as 1 sometimes. Attachment = another interesting topic!

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  16. This was tough for me. I would say #3 except that I'm not afraid my hubby will leave me and I know he loves me. I would just like to be closer to people than they want to be with me.

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  17. This is a great post. I'm a 2, and on the test I ranked 'secure' *didn't really have a doubt*. I look forward to your post Wednesday.

    Oh, and I also awarded you the Kreativ Blogger award here. I don't know if you accept blog awards or not, but I wanted to show how much I'm liking your blog.

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  18. I think i'm pretty well a #2 with occasional tendencies towards #1. But I think that has to due with a dislike of change and not neccessarily due to the idea of the relationship in general

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  19. hi dr sarah! for me i dont have a girlfriend. girls! ack! ha ha. but for sure im like that number 2. i love being round people and for me it just way easy to trust mostly everyone. but theres sometimes when i dont wanna be around not one person and just wanna be by myself.
    ...hugs from lenny

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